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| it feels like the planet i used to live on exploded into trillions of asteroids.
and they all flew different ways.
some asteroids managed well on their own
some managed to recombine into another planet.
it feels like somehow,
my piece landed on a different planet.
and while it looks, sounds, and smells the same,
it feels entirely different.
these planeters are like strangers.
aliens.
and no matter how much we look alike,
how much we think we're alike,
how much we act like we're alike,
we just dont belong together.
and the sad thing is,
i have no more planet to go home to.
because it is scattered all over the galaxy.
so where do i belong?
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| has made all the difference.
because it is one that is winding,
on acrophobic altitudes,
and set with rocks protruding in sharp jagged edges
said to be useful in polishing diamonds
yet diamonds are supposed to be harder than rocks.
a road that,
once walked upon
yields not only footprints
but leaves a mark on its traveller.
and those who roam on the wider road
and occasionally catch a glimpse of its brother
will stare in wonder and in awe
as this strange stone gets polished into a diamond
wishing that it was theirs to experience.
now they see right through me
but only i know who i used to be
strength and strain shed me from me
now truly i know who i can be
gee. im letting words fly around again.
forgive me the confusion you feel from reading this. hahaha
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| you ask for one more day
or one more hour
or one more minute
but you just dont realise that it has already been given to you
one day ago
one hour ago
one minute ago.
and you would now think,
hey maybe i should cherish him/her more.
mama, papa, sister, brother, b/gf whoever.
but no matter how much you love them
and how much you wanna treasure this moment,
you just want more.
and more. and more.
the matter is
we just dont get sick of loving someone.
even past the point of possibility,
you still dont stop.
and thats why,
a day more
an hour more
a minute more,
is one more to cherish
and one more to lose.
wuah emo.
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| and that's kinda the reason why my blog layout has remained the same.
of course, there is also the laziness element,
which duznt really need to be elaborated further.
but really.
today is one of those occasions that i discover a little bit more about myself.
and well. the realisation is that i am not as okay with change as i thought i was.
in fact, i am pretty resistant to change.
either that, or im lazy to adjust myself to change.
maybe that's why i'm still overweight after so many years.
maybe that's why my blog STILL looks the same.
maybe that's why i still have some PMR books in my room collecting dust.
and that my hair has looked the same since i was 16.
meh. this blog post somehow feels like its taken from the book of Lamentations.
hahahahaha.
oh and if this was of any benefit to you,
or of any form of reading pleasure,
do tell me.
heh. feedback is required.
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| y'know the way boat trips would be boring without the wave rocking on the sides?
my life would be boring without God.
he is the wave that rocks my boat.
i still kinda cant believe my eyes when i stare at the score sheets for auditions.
there were 4. empat. 사 . quadro. sei. si. FOUR people who auditioned.
thats like, my prediction, multiplied by four!
which means, today i got 400% of what i expected.
and you think my God doesn't exist, isn't real?
to be honestly honest,
i was kinda discouraged the night before
when i thought that nobody but Janzen (who eagerly replied my text with a "Yeap!! =D") would come.
but after awhile of prayer,
i felt contentment in my heart.
a gentle reassurance that things would be fine had crept in and stayed.
the knowledge that all was in His hands,
and that all was well.
and so i spent my day with the simplest state of heart:
"God, i may be given little, but great is Your work.
Your will be done."
and when one person after the other came for the auditions,
i felt my spirits rise.
in fact, at some point i was almost gonna cry, (cuz i was just too happy)
but the people around me were in such contagious bliss!
how can a tear ever be shed in presence of such joy?
i would like to thank every single one of you who were at auditions.
Jamie, Steffi, Jess, Apple, Oscar, Seyniel, Gareleos, Janzen, Frank. (Reese?)
thank you for sparing your precious afternoon,
thank you for being such a great encouragement to me,
but most of all,
THANK YOU SO MUCH for offering your talents to the Lord.
you guys made my day awesome.
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Exercise them Metacarpals!!
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